Thursday, September 15, 2005
Oooh! I can have some fun with this! There has been some fairly significant things happen in the news recently regarding the public access to celebrities. Let me, therefore, comment...
1. Which nose? Who nose? If you're Michael Jackson, you might have a problem with this. And what's up with the death mask face?
2. Gee, this never happens to me. Oh, wait, my name is not Lindsay Lohan.
3. Y'know, people should really consider what they're going to say before they speak. This holds especially true if you happen to be a nationally-syndicated news anchor.
3. Does dancing like Michael Jackson used to dance (back in the 80s) induce bad health? It seems like they just can't keep this frail guy out of the hospital.
4. Oh no, no. Bond Girls never get pregnant.
5. Take two and call me in the morning.
6. I don't think the Emperor would approve. C'mon, you have to admit, he is lacking in the sense-of-humor department.
7. The Odd Couple. Have you seen this? It's good ol' Lee playing a round of golf with Snoop Dogg and thmping Chrysler (sort of, if you can understand what Snoop is saying.)
8. Now seriously, isn't it just sweet that we have intimate knowledge of Britney Spears' wonderful family life? I think it's the most publicized pregnancy in history.
9. I thought Europeans were less bothered by indecency than us stingy Americans. I mean, seriously, they blast us for being prudes about nudy films and such. Well...
10. I've had enough. How 'bout you?
1. Which nose? Who nose? If you're Michael Jackson, you might have a problem with this. And what's up with the death mask face?
2. Gee, this never happens to me. Oh, wait, my name is not Lindsay Lohan.
3. Y'know, people should really consider what they're going to say before they speak. This holds especially true if you happen to be a nationally-syndicated news anchor.
3. Does dancing like Michael Jackson used to dance (back in the 80s) induce bad health? It seems like they just can't keep this frail guy out of the hospital.
4. Oh no, no. Bond Girls never get pregnant.
5. Take two and call me in the morning.
6. I don't think the Emperor would approve. C'mon, you have to admit, he is lacking in the sense-of-humor department.
7. The Odd Couple. Have you seen this? It's good ol' Lee playing a round of golf with Snoop Dogg and thmping Chrysler (sort of, if you can understand what Snoop is saying.)
8. Now seriously, isn't it just sweet that we have intimate knowledge of Britney Spears' wonderful family life? I think it's the most publicized pregnancy in history.
9. I thought Europeans were less bothered by indecency than us stingy Americans. I mean, seriously, they blast us for being prudes about nudy films and such. Well...
10. I've had enough. How 'bout you?
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Wow! Has it been that long since I last did anything with this? Well, I'll see if I can do better, eh? Oh, for any of you who may be wondering, I am not Canadian. Just because I say "eh" a lot doesn't immediately categorize me as a Canadian. I have Canadian friends, though. Personally, I like Canadians.
Robbie-ism: "Don't use one of those; use a bread knife, ya retard!"
Okay, now for the moment you have all been waiting for: And waiting some more: Jason's Assault on the Media! (Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr's Johnny)
1. Okay, someone has way too vivid an imagination.
2. I think it's like the Addams Family, or maybe the Partridge Family.
3. Hey, do you want to meet any of these dudes? Cool, there's a Canadian in there!
4. Franklin Delano "Rose"avelt
5. Putting your trust in good companies. I don't know; I think it's a bit underrated.
6. The aforementioned company acquires Flash (tm) technology.
7. A sweet love story about two Thoraxes. (Thoraxii?)
8. Oooh, this is going to be the big rage of office workers everywhere.
9. I think everyone should have one of these. Seriously, don't you just feel left out without one? I know I do.
10. And just for good measure...
Well, as promised, or more like as threatened, I decided to dive into the dogpile of the Onion. It's a great place to visit once in a while, but just like those great vacation spots, it can lose its charm. Well, more acurately stated, it scares the charm into the next state.
Until next time guys and gals, catch y'all later! If you have any stuff you want me to try to make fun of, send it to me.
Robbie-ism: "Don't use one of those; use a bread knife, ya retard!"
Okay, now for the moment you have all been waiting for: And waiting some more: Jason's Assault on the Media! (Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr's Johnny)
1. Okay, someone has way too vivid an imagination.
2. I think it's like the Addams Family, or maybe the Partridge Family.
3. Hey, do you want to meet any of these dudes? Cool, there's a Canadian in there!
4. Franklin Delano "Rose"avelt
5. Putting your trust in good companies. I don't know; I think it's a bit underrated.
6. The aforementioned company acquires Flash (tm) technology.
7. A sweet love story about two Thoraxes. (Thoraxii?)
8. Oooh, this is going to be the big rage of office workers everywhere.
9. I think everyone should have one of these. Seriously, don't you just feel left out without one? I know I do.
10. And just for good measure...
Well, as promised, or more like as threatened, I decided to dive into the dogpile of the Onion. It's a great place to visit once in a while, but just like those great vacation spots, it can lose its charm. Well, more acurately stated, it scares the charm into the next state.
Until next time guys and gals, catch y'all later! If you have any stuff you want me to try to make fun of, send it to me.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Day 1 of the new Assault blog.
Nothing to really report right now. I might have something later, though. Keep checking back in.
Nothing to really report right now. I might have something later, though. Keep checking back in.
